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Be an inner coach, not an inner critic Nurturing Self-Compassion and Growth

Dr Ben Stride


TL;DR: Embrace self-compassion and cultivate a positive inner voice to foster personal growth and well-being. Shift from self-criticism to self-coaching by offering support, understanding, and motivation in challenging times. By nurturing a kinder relationship with ourselves, we can unlock our full potential and live a more fulfilling life.



We all have an inner voice that accompanies us throughout our lives. It can either be a critical and harsh coach, constantly highlighting our flaws and shortcomings, or it can be a compassionate and empowering guide, encouraging our growth and nurturing our well-being. Which voice do you choose to listen to?


In our journey toward personal growth and happiness, it's crucial to become an inner coach rather than an inner critic. The way we speak to ourselves has a profound impact on our self-esteem, resilience, and overall mental well-being. Let's explore how we can cultivate self-compassion and foster a positive inner dialogue.


  • Practice Self-Awareness: Start by becoming aware of your self-talk. Pay attention to the words and tone you use when you speak to yourself. Notice if your inner voice tends to be critical, judgmental, or harsh. Awareness is the first step towards change.

  • Challenge Negative Thoughts: When negative thoughts arise, challenge them with curiosity and compassion. Ask yourself if these thoughts are based on evidence or if they are distorted perceptions. Replace negative self-talk with realistic and supportive statements.

  • Cultivate Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience, just as you would a close friend. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and experiences setbacks. Embrace self-compassion by offering yourself comfort and reassurance in difficult times.

  • Focus on Growth and Learning: Shift your mindset from fixed to growth-oriented. Instead of dwelling on perceived failures or limitations, view challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. Celebrate progress and small victories along the way.

  • Set Realistic Expectations: Avoid setting impossibly high standards for yourself. Embrace the concept of "good enough" and recognise that perfection is unattainable. Set realistic goals and celebrate your efforts and progress, regardless of the outcome.

  • Embrace Self-Care: Prioritise self-care activities that nourish your body, mind, and soul. Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and rejuvenation. Remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish; it is essential for your well-being.

  • Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and encourage you. Seek out positive influences, whether it's friends, family, or mentors who believe in your potential. Their support can reinforce your journey towards self-coaching.

  • Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness practices to cultivate present-moment awareness and non-judgmental observation of your thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness can help you detach from negative self-talk and create space for self-compassion to thrive.


Remember, transforming your inner dialogue takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey toward becoming an inner coach. Embrace self-compassion as a powerful tool for personal growth and well-being.


By nurturing a kinder relationship with ourselves, we can unlock our full potential and live a more fulfilling life. So, let's make a conscious choice today: be an inner coach, not an inner critic.



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